(paintings in Stream of consciousness)
I’ve been exploring this idea of painting whatever comes to my hand, to my mind at one particular moment and not letting myself plan to paint. Recently I’ve come to question when I've stopped drawing and started “drawing”, because what drawing meant for a younger me was straight pen to paper quickfire, of the moment, with no regard of how it “should” look but the very concept of “my mind at the moment”. I very much miss and yearn for that kind of freedom. As I got older, drawing took on this technical direction very partial to ego and even before I drew, I was preoccupied with the fact that it should look like something and it should mean something more than what it is.
And so last year, I’ve began to relax and just go back to drawing as a way of expressing the paths of my mind, and letting it surprise me with the choices my hand took, along with a sincere trust in my natural instinct of space and color. I should think that these paintings really depict who I am and where I am at that moment in my life.
Sunshine Darkness Suburban yellow
Towards the end of my brief stay in Northern Las Vegas, I had started painting on wood panels. I liked the feeling of an unforgiving surface, watching the paint seep through and some holding onto the surface. Our little journey in Northern Las Vegas, sometimes feeling like a mistaken blip and sometimes feeling like something all too needed, has run out its time.
TWO MONTHS DOWNSTAIRS WITH THE FIELD OUTSIDE
The downstairs studio in my in-laws’ house was a small haven of brightness. The fields outside, green and lush, are worlds away from the dry, sparseness of Las Vegas. Delightful houses stacked on top of each other, spread across spans and spans of green and wind.
We had just arrived in L.A after a 3 day drive down from Vancouver followed by a month traveling in China. What we should do, where we should live for the year, who we will become - all a tangle.
In the first month of our stay in Vegas suburbia, things felt surreal. I finally had a studio for my paintings alone, after 10 years of living in city apartments that were marginally bigger than one.
April in Vegas, close to yet another birthday. Things go up and down, my thoughts travel in a square.
Clash and Revival
It started out with some simple lines, you can still see the initial strokes. But then things happened, as they always do, and feelings changed.
The vegas trap
The colors of a hot desert seeps thru the senses. I dream of other places than this, but I want to stay anyways.